It really is never too late to be falling in love. I have recently come across several instances of people falling in love in their later years.
The first was a friend who told me that her Godmother had found love at the age of 75, after almost 20 years of being widowed. Her new ‘beau’ is 80.
The second person was a 63 year old in my yoga class who met a new love on Match.com, she told me that she had no idea where this relationship was going but she was having great fun enjoying the attention.
Then I bumped into Amanda, who at 58 had been dating the father of her son’s best friend for the past year. After falling in love they had just become engaged and are planning their wedding for later this year.
As a coach who specialises in helping people attract love, I find that increasingly my clients are in their 50’s and beyond. I just recently coached a woman well into her later years who had been single for over 30 years and had decided that she was finally ready to meet a man to enjoy her life with.
How do you attract love over 50?
So how do you go about attracting love over 50? The first step is that you must be open to falling in love.
One of the biggest issues that show up with my older clients is that they are not sure whether they want to ‘settle down’ again.
Now I would never suggest that all single people would want to be in a romantic relationship but it is important to ask yourself if you do REALLY want to find love and whether the uncertainty you feel around whether you want it or not is just fear and doubt getting in the way.
Excuses for not falling in love.
“I’m too old”, “I’m too out of shape” “I’m too set in my ways”, “I’m too busy” are just a few of the lies and excuses I hear, when often these are just barriers we put up so we don’t have to make an effort and risk getting hurt or rejected – and let’s face it, falling in love is the biggest risk we ever take in life.
So, step one is to decide today that you DO want a special someone to enjoy your life with and you are prepared to put in some effort to make it happen.
Bearing a grudge is like holding a red hot coal in your hand with the intention of throwing it at another person.
Before you can fully open up to being with a new partner, it is essential that you let go of any resentment or grudges you have against your ex. Or any ex’s you have had.
Regardless of how badly you were hurt or let down by your ex, it is imperative that you forgive them and let them go. Understand that by forgiving someone you are in no way condoning their behaviour, nor do you have to like them.
You wouldn’t watch a bad film over and over again would you? Stop playing that bad scene in your own head. This will help you open up to falling in love again.
Releasing past resentment.
The best way to get over any bad feeling towards someone is to write a letter to the person. No you don’t have to send it - just get it down on paper, the good, the bad and the ugly. If there are tears, let them flow, if there is anger, let it out.
By letting it all out of you, you are in affect ‘wiping the slate clean’. You don’t need that ‘stuff’ anymore and you certainly don’t want to taint your new relationship with fear and anger from the past.
Once you have written it all down, simply burn the letter or tear it up while vowing that you will never again let anything that has gone before mess with your future.
Looking for new love.
Now that you are clear of the past, where do you look to find new love? Whether you are for it or against it, the internet is now the number one way to meet new love.
I understand the reluctance some may have to using the internet, and I agree you must approach it with due caution and common sense; however I personally know many couples who met on the internet and have been to several weddings that have resulted in their falling in love. So I know it does work.
If you would like to know more about internet dating, please send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org and receive a free copy of my article on Safe and Effective Internet Dating.
Karen Barr, BSc (Hons) Psychology, is the founder of Beswitchedon. She is an experienced, qualified coach, NLP and EFT practitioner who, through her powerful and proven 7 Steps to Awaken Love process, specialises in coaching single women who wish to attract romantic love.
Find out more at www.beswitchedon.com
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