Sex and love 

When we look at rekindling a loving relationship sex and love is an integral part of a long-term loving partnership, although there are exceptions in cases where the couple both agree to abstain for whatever reason. 

However individuals have differing levels of sex drive and may require sexual gratification in different ways. It is essential that couples compromise and communicate with each other about their thoughts and feelings about sex and love

Also over time the sex drive of one partner may drop while the other partner still has the same level of need for sexual intimacy. Sometimes this can be resolved by honest conversation. 

To rekindle sex and love in a relationship it can sometimes be clear and straightforward. I have found in some of my counselling sessions the following scenario. While in the early stages of a relationship both parties make an effort with their personal hygiene and appearance.

However what frequently happens that once the relationship has slipped into a more routine phase that one partner stops bothering about how they look, stop making an effort and assume they will still appear appealing to their partner. When the couple realise this is the situation something can be done – if they both want it – very simply to rekindle a loving relationship.

Ideal conditions for rekindling sex and love in a relationship

I have found over the years of counselling that many women tell me the conditions they feel are right for them to be in the mood for love making are very different from their partners. Women generally say they need to feel relaxed and have time in order to fully enjoy their sexual experience. If they are thinking of a list of things to be done they often resent the ‘intrusion.’

Men, on the other hand, say that sex helps them to feel relaxed and see it as a way to unwind. Being aware of this difference and realising how to help your partner get into the right frame of mind can make all the difference.

Another issue that many women talk about is the fact that they enjoy cuddling up on the sofa and are very happy with this level of intimacy, however they often feel that their partner thinks this is an invitation to have sex. If this issue is not discussed often the woman begins to avoid the close warm embrace because she doesn't want it to go any further at that time.

Often these issues are not discussed. On occasion a man may feel he is being rejected when the woman explains her feelings, so she may say nothing but emotionally begin to withdraw. The ‘headache’ or something similar can become a habit.

A long term relationship may reach a point where both partners no longer want to, or may be unable to, have a full sexual relationship. Once again this does not mean that intimacy and physical closeness can no longer exist. Touching, closeness and erotic imagination all can continue to give gratification without a full sexual encounter.

Are you honest with your partner about your feelings regarding your sex life?

Do you think they are honest with you?

What have you not said that you want to say?

What environment would you have to make before having that honest conversation?


If your sexual relationship has been allowed to drift then it’s never too late to rejuvenate your sex and love.  It’s a major part of our quality of life and it is worth cherishing. If you enjoyed rekindle a loving relationship you may want to link to release destructive relationships or protect from negativity.


If you enjoyed sex and love link to love relationship quiz

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